This has been the worst april ever. I know this because I just took a walk around town this evening and while tapping into the greater collective consciousness of my fellow citizens, I was able to trace all the april's back a hundred years or more. I passed through the sunny sterile Aprils of the 50's and the shocking zoot suit scandalous aprils of the 20s, to the tumultous Aprils in the 70s and all the other aprils in between. They were all nicer than this april, the worst april ever. It is possible there was a worse april at the dawn of the century, but the women who was offering up her memory to the collective consciousness had alzheimers and we had to move on.
So what does this matter? It means I'm still depressed. I hate the cold. I hate the winter. I hate the cloudy days and the lack of sun. It isn't that I am tired of them, I actually hate themm. When I stepped outside today into a blistery cold, snowy day in mid-April, I was immediately in a bad mood, and I still am. This weather just makes the oppressive meaningless of my life feel that much heavier. When it's sunny, I get a little freedom as I can float around after work on a walk and sit along the river and think or run or walk, or just enjoy being outside. Not days like today though, nothing really cheers me up on days like today.
I'm not an adult, I'm a child. If i can play outside, I'm generally ok. Remember that song I'm Only Happy When it Rains by Garbage? That was one of 3 popular songs on my spring break when I died my hair some shade of red and drove with some friends to some disgusting spring break destination in Florida, the spring break where i got a nose ring in the back of a club and we poured rum on it that night to stop it from getting infected. It didn't work. Anyway, I used to like that song. I used to understand that song. That song is stupid, and I might be a child but that song is for angsty 15-22 year olds, which fortunately I'm not anymore. I also think anyone who wants to return to that time is stupid, but maybe i didn't have enough fun in college. Maybe I don't have enough fun now, who the hell knows, but I'm trying. Anyway, this weather has got to change before I just get really annoyed and move to central america forever.
My request to all my readers, and since I haven't been writing much I'm not sure if you are even still there, is this: go buy a Hummer! I want accelerated global warming! I want Boston to be 55 all winter so I can move back, I want people to retire to the Carolinas like it's Florida, and Florida to just melt in a sickening ooze of decaying skin and bone into a giant everglade. Texas can just go to hell and arizona is already a desert, I'm not sure why anybody lives there anyway. We can always take over canada when we need space, populate it with humenguins, and we'll have plenty of space and we'll all live happily and sweatily ever after.
Worst april ever.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
February 2007 was the worse February ever. So bad, that in the last week of February I chanted "F@$% February" silently to myself. But luckily March and April 2007 followed, which have been agreeable to me.
"Stupid Girl" was my favorite Garbage song in my younger angst days. :)
Post a Comment