I had my Q1 employee review with my boss and it was just an exercise in futility. I sincerely enjoy working for my boss, hate my company right now, and I'm not even sure how to answer questions anymore. I am trying not to be negative, but I think the company is seriously screwing me (and has been for a while) because of this one project I can't get off and is meaningless to my career. So the balance now is they promised me a fairly large bonus if I complete the project by the end of year. Until then, I need to not explode at anyone internally and get fired. I can quit when the check clears. I really want to ask my boss what he thinks the odds are that I resign within 2 weeks of the check clearing, but I'm not quite that bold.
Anyway, we were talking about my workload and my boss said, "It seems like you have some trust issues with people in this company." And I responded, "Is this an employee review or a counseling session?" then I refused to go into details about why I think most of my coworkers and managers are incompetent. Not that I could do their jobs, but I don't have their positions. It's like if I complain about professional athletes, you cannot retort you can't do it. I know that, but obviously I'm not a professional athlete. However, I expect our developers to develop well, product managers to be consistent and improve the product, and managers to manage effectively, among others. That's the "team" concept of working in a company. I won't get into it, but I think I have a strong case.
This not trying to be negative means i just have to stare at people I work with a lot without responding because I can't even think of positive spins anymore and I can't have the same conversation every 6 months about how now we will actually implement what we talked about 6 months ago... It's making me extremely tense, but it is pushing me to exercise more to relieve the stress. Maybe it's a good thing.
3 comments:
I'm sorry you're having these issues! It really stinks.
Awhile ago, I had a bunch of issues with my work where I would bitch and complain about everything. I was told many things would happen, but they never would. It really sucked.
Eventually, I just got over it. I think I accepted the fact that work would be, well work. And if I wanted stuff done, then there's only so much I can do about it. Sometimes it's out of my hands.
It desensitizes me, however. That is bad.
It seems like you care too much about your work, or having your name attached to something. Good for you. But I'm afraid that you'll go batty over it if you're not careful. That's the downside to caring about your job.
Don't you want to blog about how much fun you had at my wedding instead of the same old complaints about your job????
that's why he's a glass half-empty type of guy (now a glass 1/4-full type of guy)
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