Monday thoughts

The word forever doesn't have any real feeling for me, but the word infinite fascinates me.

I'm more comfortable wandering around alone making up stories in my head than I am wandering around with people. In my head, I'm eloquent, funny, and passionate. When I'm with people, I'm not. Then again, that's probably because even when I'm with people I'm usually wandering around in my head all the same.

I am going to Columbia for work next week, and it is the first time in a few years that the thought of just staying down there occurred to me. Is that a good sign?

The funniest joke I can think of right now is this: The invisible man married the invisible woman and they had a child but the child wasn't much to look at. I giggle every time I think about it.

I don't think anyone should be bailed out in the subprime mortgage mess. People make mistakes. Companies lose money. That's just the way it is. If we bail everyone out, nobody will ever learn. Recessions happen, they suck, and in a few years we'll be out of it. The stock market is still near an all time high, what's the worry? If they freeze interest rates for the next 1-5 years, aren't the same homeowners going to have problems in 5 years? Or will we all be so rich by then it won't matter? That's what I love about America, our long term planning.

As the presidential race tightens up, I become less interested. I don't like any of them really, and I'm just voting Democrat. Actually, if I don't get a license I'm not voting anything.

I can't watch a full sports game anymore unless I am with someone. I still enjoy playing sports, I just can't watch.

I have been watching classic chess games on my computer and I'm hooked! It's a bit of an odd things my new found interest in chess. Basically a few weeks back I read an article about the Kasparov - Big Blue matches where a computer beat one of the greatest chess players of all time and I got interested. Now I watch chess games (played out much faster than real time). I read an interesting thing that said chess moves by great players are usually decided in the first 5 seconds, but then the player spends time figuring out if they missed something. I read that in an article on intuition though so it might not be true.

I have a lousy memory, I always have. I am pretty decent at figuring things out though, and I'm sometimes over logical to the point of being obnoxious even to me. National Geographic had a fairly interesting article on Memory a month or two ago, and I think I might start researching that. It also had an extremely interesting article on swarm theory recently, and if I thought I could find do it it might convince me to go back to school. I could study packs of fish moving in tandem, honey bees, or ants - fascinating!

I really want to go to Mexico in the next 2 years for the migration of the butterflies. If I go, will I want to stay down there?

The number pi is an interesting number, but I don't understand the value of memorizing it out to a lot digits. What a weird thing to do. Isn't it better to understand? Then again, maybe I'm biased because I can't remember well but I like to fancy I can understand.

Borges and Garcia Marquez still fascinate me, and I read at least one of them almost every night. They are my adult teddy bears, like the knit blanket I had as a kid and put my fingers through the knitted slots, I put my mind through the stories. Or something. That is to say, they are comforting.

Is there anything more interesting than a right triangle? More particularly, is there anything more interesting than the square of the two sides of the right angle equaling the square of the hypotenuse?

If I had to go anywhere in the world to die, I think I would go to Machu Pichu and jump.

If I had to go anywhere in the world to live, I think I would go to...

I have a beautiful orchid in my apartment, and it makes me happy.

Listening to jazz while laying on my couch, reading, or staring out the window makes me happy.

I have been starting to get that super intense focus at work I had when I was younger, and I don't like it. That intensity, which people say leads to success, frightens me and is not how I want to live my life. I'm not sure how to fix this yet.

I am finally comfortable in San Fran, even though I don't really have many real friends yet. I feel comfortable in my apartment, have books around, and am in my own way happy.

I want to start playing tennis more and buy a bicycle and start taking long rides on weekends.

I want to go to a driving range and hit golf balls. It relaxes me. I have always found shooting a basketball alone or hitting golf balls relaxing.

I think time is the most interesting fascinating confusing thing in the world. It gives us memory. Without memories we don't have feelings or families or history. Time is the infinite jester, arguably more of God's nemesis than the devil. I have entire fables I wrote about this when I was younger.

I like reading old notebooks and remembering who I was. And I usually like putting them away and knowing where I am.