In a recent test to the president's new One Alex for every Akhmed program, Akhmed said today he wasn't really that fond of Alex and wishes he wouldn't stay in his house. On TV, Akhmed said, "I didn't invite him to stay, he can't communicate with us, and he sweats so much even the dogs won't go near him. He brought flowers to my wife, but since then, it has been nothing but tension! Alex must go."
Alex responds, "Akhmedis is an ok guy but we never really seemed to hit it off. He spent most of his time speaking gibberish and hiding his wife from me, while I was forced to shoot the shit, figuratively and literally, with my buddy Alex next store and my other buddy Alex next store. I'm staying because my president told me too, but I'm not sure I'm really helping. "
Responded the pentagon: "The fact that Akhmed is still alive and able to give his opinion on TV is a sign of the progress we are making in Iraq. God bless the troops."
Meanwhile, it appears the Iraqi government ceased to exist a few months ago but nobody noticed. A recent picture of the government headquarters showed two camels eating the drapes and another one in the corner spitting into a bucket from 12 feet away. Now that's a shot! The camels had no comment, although one spiteful camel did spit right on my nametag.
Meanwhile, ethnic violence has ceased as Sunni's, Shiites, and Kurds are uniting to fight the long overstaying house Alexes. The enemy of my enemy is my friend? This program could indeed unite the country!
And we all lived happily ever after. The end.
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