My 10 year college reunion is this summer, and I have spent a pretty small amount of effort ignoring that fact. I wasn't the most social guy in college, so I don't think I would re-kindle many lost friendships, and the blatant networking component of it frankly sort of freaks me out. I always felt like the college association was a bit of a granfalloon, or I think that's the word that as far as I know was termed by Vonnegut in Cat's Cradle. Basically, as I process the word and the meaning, it's an ultimately meaningless connection between people that people cling to in an effort to connect. For example, I grew up in Michigan so everyone I meet from Michigan has a connection to me. Except not really, because growing up in Detroit or the Upper Penninsula basically means you might as well have grown up in New York City or Montana for all it's relevence to my life, except maybe we shared the same governor for a while.
Recently, I have been reconnecting with people from college. 1 is a friend who I was sort of close with, meaning we travelled in the same extended circle and had a lot of mutual friends. But we weren't close, probably never really talked alone, and don't have many shared experiences outside the same college and the same friends. Another friend, an even more external friend from college than the other, and I went to a happy hour organized by someone she knows. Are these granfalloons? Do they have meaning? Am I using them just to make some friends, even though my time in college wasn't all that great (regardless of the seemingly normal human instinct to improve memories) and I don't particlularly want to relive those times? So it's all about figuring out what people are now, and sharing what i am now, and seeing if we connect. And if we don't - then what? Where I do go next? It's been fun though so far, so maybe i should just stop being so nuerotic and overthinking and just enjoy it. Or maybe I'll be myself. sigh.
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